I'm a bit of everything, I'm a jumble and a mess. I have no idea who I am, I can never decide what I like or what I don't. I just try my hand at whatever I can in hope that one day I'll find something that I'm actually good at. Until then, I'm just a renaissance girl. In the future, who knows?
I got to stand next to this really cute boy the whole time, and he kept glancing at me. I turned and looked at him one time and he got embarrassed, I don’t think he knew how obvious it was haha. But then, I don’t think he was looking at me because he thought I was cute, in fact I don’t think he was probably looking at me at all, he was probably just looking around. Even if he was looking at me, it wouldn’t be because he thought I looked cute or whatever, it would probably just be judging me, maybe mentally wondering why fat people are allowed out or something. He couldn’t be looking at me because he thought I was pretty or something, I don’t think that anyone could. I wish they would though, and I wish I would actually know it.
I seriously hate my life sometimes. I feel so useless, and like such a waste of space. I do nothing, I feel nothing. No one cares enough to look out for me, and I don’t deserve for anyone to. I’ll look out for them, but not for long, I pretty much just get bored and move on. I’m interesting on the surface, in a weird, quirky way that Im pretty sure scares a few people, but underneath there’s nothing. It’s like I make up for the boring on the inside by going to extremes on the outside. No one is ever actually friends with the “me’s” of the world, they laugh at them, will chat with them for a minute or so, but that’s it. I think people forget that sometimes I’m not just a wandering freak, but for once it would be nice if someone stuck with me, so I didn’t have to keep trying to find new people, as soon as the other ones lost interest.
Anyway, done feeling sorry for myself. Time to read a good book.
I’d like to start a school newspaper. Or even just be part of one.
All I can think of to write about are music things, I’d have a gig guide, and music reviews and book reviews. You could have a ‘students say’ section, I don’t even know what else to put in there, anything school related, or interesting to students. In a current issue there’d be the gig guide, music reviews, book reviews, an article on top arts/top designs, something about things on in the city/local area in winter, games reviews, sports news, a politics section, each week I’d have a focus on a person who is doing something interesting and wacky in the world, I’d have a tech review section and maybe a study advice section.
Everyone would throw it out, but it would be fun to do. It would take up lots of time, but half an hour each night could make it a hobby or something. I’d need to come up with a name and design, and find people who would want to write for it, and have to get access to photos of things, but it could totally be done.
First week back from holidays=First issue.
It’s decided. I have precisely 2 months until first deadline. Sounds like ages but I have about a trillion SAC’s and a midyear, but I will do it. I want to do it, and so I will.
